Psychology
by Smackalicious
Summary: a character development story involving Monk and Sharona lots of angst for now...who knows what will come from that


Psychology

_Author's Note: A character development story – most of this will consist of emotional topics; things Monk might be inclined to discuss in therapy with Dr. Kroeger (if he actually discussed those things, that is). The time frame for this is before Sharona's character left the show, maybe that season or the season before that. I'm really using this story as a tool to work on building character, and I see this is as most realistic storyline for the show. I don't think there will be a romance between Monk and Sharona in this story, even though that's what I usually write when I write fanfiction. So, I hope anyone that reads this enjoys it, as I think it'll really introduce some interesting sides to the characters of Adrian and Sharona._

Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me, only the story does.

Chapter 1

It was something Monk was just coming to terms with himself. When he saw Sharona with Lieutenant Disher, even with her sarcastic responses to his not-so-subtle fawning over her, he felt a slight twitch, a pang of something that seemed to be jealousy, inside his stomach. The whole thing was preposterous. Why would he be jealous of Disher having unrequited feelings for Sharona?

Well, the truth is, he sensed that Disher's feelings weren't completely unrequited. Sure, Sharona gave him a hard time, but he knew there was just the smallest tinge of want in her mind when it came to Disher, not to mention she was incredibly flattered by all the attention he gave her. She gave off the aura of being so strong, so independent and sassy, but he knew she had a vulnerable side. He saw it every time she was around men that could be interested in her.

It became painfully obvious when he saw her with Trevor. Yes, he was her ex-husband, but Monk had noticed from other divorced couples that a good portion of the time, at least one of the two usually carried a torch for the other even after being separated for some time, and in this case, it was Sharona harboring those feelings. But since Trevor was out of the picture, she was trying to transfer her feelings to anyone else, and Disher seemed to be the obvious choice.

Yet Monk was still jealous. He knew it was completely selfish and unfair of him to be jealous of Sharona having feelings for two men, – her ex and Randy – especially when he had to admit to being attracted to her besides still loving his dead wife. Well, maybe 'attracted' isn't the right word.

He knew there was a reason for everything, and what if he was meant to share something with Sharona, not necessarily something like he had with Trudy, but something? They were both at the same place in their lives as far as their love lives went, and he knew if he actually told her all this, they just might get somewhere.

But he still felt hurt. He longed for a woman – any woman, really – to look at him the way Sharona had looked at Trevor, the way Trudy had looked at him. He couldn't help the way he was, God knows he tried to be different, but he still longed to have women be attracted to him. He wanted to be ready to move on, but he still wasn't sure if he could. It was almost as if he thought that the moment he moved on, found someone else as special as Trudy had been, Trudy herself would someone miraculously appear back in his life. And while he realized and accepted that idea as being completely ridiculous, he didn't know if Sharona was that person he wanted to take that chance with.

Sure, Sharona was special to him – she was probably the closest living person to him (and I say 'living' because Trudy is undoubtedly the closest person to him, even if she isn't alive in the physical sense anymore).But Sharona also came with a lot of baggage. She was divorced (and still having feelings for her ex-husband to boot) and had a teenage son (not that Benjy was that hard of a kid to deal with, but who knows how he'd react to Monk and his mom together). Not to mention it would complicate their working relationship. He most certainly didn't want to find another assistant – it was hard enough to find Sharona. The thing he was the most afraid of, though, was losing her.

What if they did try dating and it didn't work out? Would they be able to go back to the way they were before, with Monk being the genius detective and Sharona being his wipe-toting assistant? Or would everything fall apart and leave them as awkward around each other as Monk was around most people? He didn't want to take that risk, and while he'd be upset if she went back to Trevor after all this time, it was her choice to make, and he really had no say in her decision. She was a grown woman (that was a pretty difficult fact to ignore when the majority of her outfits were short, tight, and showed a LOT of cleavage, but I digress). If she wanted to get back together with Trevor and have to worry night and day about whether he'd be drunk the next time she saw him, he really couldn't do anything but sit back and let her make her own mistakes.

But enough with the overt Sharona bashing. She was always there for Monk when it really mattered, which is the important thing. When he needed someone to talk to (well, he never really _talked_ to anyone, except for maybe Dr. Kroeger or Trudy's tombstone, but you get my drift), Sharona was there. She was a good friend, and that was really all Monk was looking for right now. As long as he had this...affliction, let's call it, he knew he couldn't have a successful relationship with any woman, let alone Sharona, who had a dating track record about a mile long (but once again, I digress). However, that wouldn't mean he couldn't talk to her about things that were bothering him, and that's just what he was going to do.

As he stood in front of his hall mirror, straightening his hair and jacket, Adrian Monk thought about how he would approach Sharona. He didn't just want to call her up and announce that he wanted to talk about his deepest fears and most intimate goals in his life – that would certainly be unexpected, and Monk was all about predictability. Besides, then Sharona would do that silly little thing where she asked if he was okay and put her hand on his forehead to make sure he didn't have a fever. He didn't want to surprise her that way, so he figured he would have to tell her in person, so she could at least see that he was serious (not that he joked around at all, but he wanted her to see that he was ready to open up to her.)

A soft knock on his apartment door shook his thoughts, and he turned to see who it was. Lifting an eye to the peephole, his eyebrows furrowed first in confusion and then in slight worry.

He admitted the knocker. "Benjy. What are you doing here." It came out as a statement rather than a question, but Monk got that way when he was panicked. "Where's your mother?"

Benjy rolled his eyes. "She's in the grocery store down the street, picking up your daily supply of moist wipes. Remember?"

Monk nodded quickly, shifting his shoulders. "Yes, yes, right, of course. So, why aren't you with her at, you know, the store?"

Benjy suddenly turned bashful, looking at his sneakers. "I just...I just needed someone to talk to about some guy problems, and I didn't know who else to ask," he mumbled.

Monk looked rather panic-stricken at Benjy's comment. "_Guy_ problems?" he asked for further clarity.

Benjy sighed heavily. "Yeah, yeah, I know you're weird about this stuff, but I thought you might know what to do because my mom's been working for you for so long."

Monk perked up at the mention of Sharona. "This involves your mother?"

"Well, yeah," he responded, like Monk should have known that already. "When I said 'guy problems,' I meant that I was having problems with a guy, and it happens to be someone you know pretty well, and the way Mom's been acting around him lately is weird."

Monk gulped to himself. He had a feeling of where this was going, and he didn't know if he wanted to get into that discussion with Benjy. Not that he was particulary looking forward to starting the same conversation with Sharona, either, but at least she was an adult. He had always felt somewhat awkward talking about anything with children, and even though Benjy was slowly becoming a man, Monk wasn't sure if he could do this.

He looked down at Benjy and saw for the first time in the duration of their conversation a look of desperation on his face. "Please, Mr. Monk," he begged.

Monk rolled a shoulder and sighed. "Okay. Let's talk."


End file.
